Friday, 22 May 2015

Daisy & David's Humanist Wedding at The Loch Fyne Restaurant, Newhaven Harbour



if you recognise either of these gorgeous newly-weds, chances are that you hail from the world of sport or film. Daisy works with my old friend Simon Mallinson at one of Scotland's leading production companies. MTP. David, like his best man brother James is a Judo player who's had a distinguished career at international level, which explained why there was more than the usual compliment of cauliflower ears in the crowd that came to watch them get hitched on a glorious May afternoon down at Newhaven Harbour.


They took a lot of care and imagination to craft a wonderful ceremony, which incorporated inspiring and moving speeches from both their parents and grandparents. A particular highlight for me was the reading by Daisy's friend Norman of a beautiful piece I'd never heard before, called The Irrational Season by Madeleine L’Engle

“Ultimately there comes a time when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life, this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person.

When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling.”

L’Engle was an American author and a devout Episcopalian who died in 2007. She believed in universal salvation, which meant that not only were her books banned from Christian schools and libraries, but that secular critics found her work too religious: poor woman! She deserved better. 


It was just a shame I had to rush off afterwards, because there were some old friends in the crowd I'd have loved to caught up with, and I could tell it was going to be a wonderful day. I was really touched to get these photos just last night from D&D, along with this note.

Hi Tim, We are back from honeymoon and finally have the chance to write and say a huge thank you for conducting our wedding ceremony. You were a brilliant presence of calm on the day and we have had so many comments about your smooth delivery and wonderful manner. You made our day.

We were really pleased that you were able to help us introduce our own humanist perspective on marriage to our friends and family. For many there, humanism was a familiar concept and for others it was all very new. Despite this, you must have gathered from the number of teary-eyed guests we had at the wedding, just how much of an impact the ceremony had on so many of them. There were plenty of big, gruff blokes whose wives had never seen them cry before, even when the kids were born!! 

Our parents and grandparents are still high as kites from the day and we feel incredibly lucky to have had a wedding that went so smoothly. Even the sun shone on Leith that day :) There is not one thing we would want to change about it and you were a big part of the reason we have such wonderful memories of the occasion. Many thanks once again for everything. Best wishes, David & Daisy xxx

It was a privilege and a pleasure D&D. May you enjoy long life, and great happiness! xxx

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