Monday, 14 April 2008

Do we have to write the ceremony ourselves?

For most of us, if standing up in public is terrifying and speaking in public is worse, then telling the most important person in your life how much you love them in front of an audience composed of  your nearest and dearest is unthinkable.  So - given that's what a humanist wedding in Scotland is about - I'm amazed our ceremonies are so popular, really.

When Juliet and I went to see Ivan Middleton, who married us back in 2005, we weren't over thrilled at the prospect of having to sit down and think about "saying what we had to say to each other" either. But when I did begin to put my mind to it, it didn't take me long to remember what is was about Juliet that made me fall in love with her; her imagination and sense of fun; her honesty, generosity and fairness; her loyalty and courage; and I have to admit that her physical appearance wasn't exactly a drawback. 

As Ivan told us, we didn't have to write ALL of our ceremony ourselves, but there are some parts that only we could do ourselves. I call them the "how did we get here?" and "where are we going?" sections; or to put it another way, the "what do we feel about one another?", and "what does marriage mean to us?" bits. Only we knew this, and suddenly, writing it in our own words made perfect sense. 

Since becoming celebrants of the Humanist Society of Scotland and being authorised to conduct legal humanist weddings, we've both had lots of opportunity to help other couples to deal with this issue and Juliet came up with the idea of turning it into a game.  I was going to keep it a secret, but as she's just spilled the beans on her blog, and because I can't put it any better myself, why don't you click through and read what she wrote? 

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